WRITTEN by JOHN MORRIS
When many of us took driving school in our teenage years, we were taught the functions of the much cherished automobile, such as brakes, accelerator, horn, gear shifter, wipers act. This also includes the 4 way flasher function, officially known as Hazard Lights, which were to be used only in an emergency, in the event of a breakdown on the road, like a flat tire or worse, such as a failure in the drivetrain. It was explained to us that this was to warn oncoming traffic of a problem that was not yet fixed.
Well, not on Roatan.
First, let me explain that the procedure to let a drivers license requires a heartbeat, a physiological test, medical exam, including a sort of eye exam, and of course money.
No training whatsoever. I mean none!
Not to mention that there are no yearly vehicle inspections. Lights, blinkers, brakes, etc are never checked, unless there is a failure. But if the horn or blinkers fails, then it is fixed immediately, especially with taxis. The horn and the 4 way flashers are absolutely necessary here. In fact, they are magic.
Say you are parking your car somewhere (legally) and step out to head to your favorite restaurant. Within seconds, a barage of taxis will be honking at you screaming “taxi?” out of their car window. And I do not mean one taxi, but rather every taxi that passes you (even if they are already full) heading in any direction. And, if for any reason you need a taxi, the rate must be negotiated. I’ve seen traffic held up, for what seems like forever, during these negotiations, often over a few lempiras.
Next are the magic 4 way flashers. Mind you, they are never used here for mechanical problem. They simply mean that I am stopping for an undetermined amount of time. This can be shopping or lunch or a long overdue chat with a friend. Anything and anywhere. Yep, anywhere, but most often in a position to assure the blockage of traffic. Then the horns start blaring incessantly, usually paired with some very choice words in either English or Spanish. The problem is that the horn is not mightier than the flashers. Never.
Rather than waiting for a particular task to be completed and the vehicle to move, drivers, stuck behind the flashing car, begin to pass, whether it is on a shoulder (if it exists) or into oncoming traffic. Then, you guessed it, a Mexican Standoff.
Wikipedia defines a Mexican Standoff as “a confrontation where no strategy exists, that allows any party to achieve victory”. On Roatan, a victory is getting the other driver or often drivers, to back up and, once again, free up traffic. This can take awhile!
I am sure this type of “driving” occurs in many places around the world, but newcomers must be aware that rules of the road here are that there are no rules. Accept it and be patient and it too shall pass. Island time, right?
A friend of mine once said to me that everyone is born with a bag of patience, and once it is gone, you are out of luck. Be sure to come here with full bag and use it sparingly. Some things are out of your control. Accept it and you will be fine.
The sad thing is that, after a few years, you will end up using the flashers yourself, so make sure your flashers are working on your vehicle. After all, if you can’t beat em, join em!
